"Self", Individuality, Itai-doshin, Life-power and FreedomThis what follows is something what I'd like to say regarding some experiences what I had, and still have, with not so few practitioners, and moreover, not only practitioners, but non-practitioners or 'ordinary' persons I am surrounded, on the daily basis, too. It has many implications, but I'll try to do only one thing here, and now: to remove a fear which causes prolonged stagnation (which is sometimes lasting for the years) in the practice and personal growth of some practitioners. An instant inducement to me was the footnote 13 from the gosho "Heritage of the Ultimate Law of Life" (MW, first edition) what I've been rereading today: "All disciples and believers of Nichiren should chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo with one mind (itai doshin), transcending all differences among themselves13 to become as inseparable as fish and the water in which they swim. This spiritual bond is the basis for the universal transmission of the ultimate law of life and death. Herein lies the true goal of Nichiren's propagation. When you are so united, even the great hope for kosen-rufu can be fulfilled without fail. But if any of Nichiren's disciples should disrupt the unity of itai doshin, he will destroy his own castle from within.This, what is here rendered literally, is the clue point: "without any thought of self or other, this or that" and "transcending all differences among themselves" one can read and accept in very different ways. The literal one goes straight to the heart and describes the facts of a direct experience. Other one describes same thing but in a much more abstract manner. "Transcending all differences among themselves" doesn't show what differences exactly, and can be - and most often it is - understood as some "administrative" differences, as social, national, educational, political ones etc. But it is not word about any of such "administrative" differences, but about something far more powerful, about our direct psychic and physical existence. When we come to the this point, things are becoming really provocative. We then come to this "without any thought of self or other, this or that". Some people simply doesn't like to be "without any thought of self or other", and especially not "without any thought of this or that". It is a matter of how they accept and see their "selves". I saw so many times how they are scared when, during daimoku for example, they experience that "loosing", "melting" or transformation of their selves. They are scared even if they experience, in those instants, a great alleviation and happiness! Actually, in those moments they entered itai doshin state, and experienced "unity of itai doshin", in fact, an unity of all existing. But, still, there is a reason for this fear, at least at the beginning. Because their perspectives are drastically changed and they are afraid whether they can manage with it: many, if not all, things are showed in a different relations and meanings and it brings the need for re-evaluation. Sometimes it is a lot of work... Depending of how much we declined from our Way, Misty Law. Most significant re-evaluation is this one of their identities, "selves". They became "inseparable as fish and the water" not only with the water but with "fishes" too, with other people, and not only with the people but with anything which exists. They feel all other as extension of own self, so the "self" becomes different toward the "other", since it is same. It is very hard to describe this experience, since the main parameter of the description, "self", is essentially modified. But this is a fact, it is not a metaphor. And since it is a fact, they are faced with something real, not only with a vision of that. And because this is something real, they are scared: "How is possible that I lived in a 'world' almost completely separated >from this (what I see, and feel, now)? Are you sure it is not some delusion I got to by chanting daimoku?" And various similar reactions on the same theme. They are scared for their identities, but just as this part says: "This is not a denial of individuality but rather urges the bridging of gaps between people which arise from selfishness and mistrust." But it needs a time to be understood and accepted. And as I said at the beginning, not so few of them are going back, to the previous state, led by a main reason which is fear. Most among them are staying "crucified" between these two, hesitating, for a really long time, and although they practise, they are "in touch", they even become "leaders" and "responsible" for others, they are not moving, actually, forward. Since they are abandoning the state "without any thought of self or other, this or that", they are "destroying their own castle from within" and they "disrupt the unity of itai doshin" and since are not united anymore "the great hope for kosen-rufu" is brought in the question. They are simply still attached to the own partial and willful picture of their selves, they feel secure in what is already known to them, and whereas they cannot recognize real value of their new experience, they are scared. It simply locks the flow of the life. This fear comes from the weak faith, knowledge and love, and can be eliminated right with them: 1) by faith, before all in own self, own capacities, that is in own real nature, and in it that is possible to understand and accept in full such an experience without anxiety; 2) by knowledge, about such an experience, where we understand real nature of this and similar experiences, and where we learn both about our selves and world we experience; this knowledge brings needed a stability and a self confidence; 3) by love, because love melts excessive sharpness and protects from silly things, brings all in a sort of state where things are in a right proportions, harmonically settled, as they are, and are not disturbed as it happens in a state of fear, when we experience illusions and delusions. And become hysterical. (If someone would object that love is based on illusions too, I'll just say I'm not talking about such a love. With a smile, of course.) Fear leads to destruction. Kick it out, and replace with love. Please. Only when we, as individuals, really "transcend all differences among ourselves", or literally: are "without any thought of self or other, this or that", only and only then we can experience supreme [life]power and a real, personal, freedom. As to the daimoku, there is a huge difference when we are chanting "with one mind (itai doshin)" and without it. (I hope it explains various experiences regarding amount and way of chanting, as well as length of "daimoku service".) This was my experience which I never talked about before. I suppose it could be of some help to others.
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"Sopstvo", individualnost, itai-došin, životna moć i slobodaOvo što sledi je nešto što bih voleo da kažem u vezi sa nekim iskustvima koje sam imao, i još uvek imam, sa ne tako malim brojem praktikanata, i štaviše, ne samo sa praktikantima, već takođe i sa ne-praktikantima ili "običnim" osobama kojima sam svakodnevno okružen. Ovo ima mnoštvo implikacija, ali, ovde i sada, pokušaću da učinim samo jednu stvar: da uklonim strah koji je uzrok dugotrajnim zastojima (koji ponekad traju i godinama) u praksi i ličnom razvoju nekih praktičara. Neposredan povod mi je bila napomena br. 13 iz gošoa "Nasleđe krajnjeg zakona života" (MW, prvo izdanje) koje sam danas ponovo iščitavao: "Svi Ničirenovi učenici i pristalice treba da recituju Nam-mjoho-renge-kjo {sjedinjeni} jednim umom (itai došin), prevazilazeći sve razlike među sobom13 da bi postali nerazdvojivi kao ribe i voda u kojoj plivaju. Ova spiritualna veza je osnova za univerzalnu transmisiju krajnjeg zakona života i smrti. U tome leži pravi cilj Ničirenovog propagiranja. Kada ste tako sjedinjeni, čak i velika nada za kosen-rufu može se ispuniti bez omaške. Ali ako bi bilo koji od Ničirenovih učenika raskinuo {poremetio} ovo jedinstvo itai došina, razorio bi svoj vlastiti zamak iznutra.Ovo što je ovde prevedeno doslovno, ključno je mesto - "bez ijedne misli o sebi ili drugome, ovome ili onome" i prevazilazeći sve razlike među sobom" može se čitati i prihvatiti na veoma različite načine. Doslovni prevod ide pravo u srce stvari i opisuje činjenice jednog direktnog iskustva. Ovaj drugi opisuje istu stvar, ali na mnogo apstraktniji način. "Prevazilaženje svih razlika među sobom" ne pokazuje koje tačno razlike, i često se može - a najčešće i jeste tako - shvatiti kao neka vrsta "administrativnih" razlikâ, kao što su socijalne, nacionalne, obrazovne, političke itd. Ali nije reč o bilo kakvim "administrativnim" razlikama, već o nečemu daleko moćnijem, o našem direktnom psihičkom i fizičkom postojanju. Kada dođemo do ove tačke, stvari postaju doista provokativne. Tada dolazimo do onog "bez ijedne misli o sebi ili drugome, ovome ili onome". Neki ljudi jednostavno ne vole da budu "bez ijedne misli o sebi ili drugome", a naročito ne "bez ijedne misli o ovome ili onome". To je stvar toga kako prihvataju i vide sebe {svoje "sebstvo", "jastvo"}. Video sam toliko puta kako su uplašeni kada, tokom damokua na primer, dožive to "gubljenje", "otapanje" ili transformaciju {svog uobičajenog osećanja} sebe {svog "ja"}. Uplašeni su čak i ako dožive, u tim trenucima, veliko olakšanje i sreću! Zapravo, u tim trenucima su stupili u stanje itai došina, i doživeli "jedinstvo itai došina", u stvari, jedno jedinstvo sa svim postojećim. Ali, ipak, postoji razlog za taj strah, bar u početku. S toga jer je njihova perspektiva drastično promenjena i uplašeni su da li će moći da se snađu u tome: mnoge, ako ne sve, stvari se pokazuju u nešto drugačijim odnosima i značenjima i ovo donosi potrebu za ponovnom procenom vrednosti. Ponekad to je poprilično posla... Zavisno od toga koliko smo odstupili od svog Puta, Mističnog Zakona. Najznačajnija ponovna procena vrednosti je ona koja se tiče njihovog identiteta, "sopstva". Postaju "nerazdvojivi kao ribe i voda" ne samo u odnosu na vodu već i u odnosu na druge "ribe", druge ljude, i ne samo u odnosu na ljude već na sve što postoji. Osećaju sve drugo kao produžetak sebe samih, tako da se "sopstvo" odnosi drugačije prema "drugom", pošto su jedno isto. Vrlo je teško opisati to iskustvo, pošto je glavni parametar opisa, "sopstvo", suštinski modifikovan. Ali to je činjenica, nije nikakva metafora. I pošto je činjenica, suočeni su sa nečim stvarnim, ne samo sa vizijom toga. A pošto je to nešto stvarno, uplašeni su: "Kako je moguće da sam živeo u jednom 'svetu' gotovo potpuno odvojen od toga (što vidim, i osećam, sada)? Da li si siguran da to nije neka obmana u koju sam došao recitujući dajmoku?" I razne slične reakcije na istu temu. Uplašeni su za svoje identitete, ali baš kao što ovaj deo kaže: "To nije poricanje individualnosti, već pre podstrek da se premosti jaz među ljudima koji nastaje iz sebičnosti i nepoverenja". Ali potrebno je vreme da se ovo shvati i prihvati. I kao što rekoh na početku, ne tako mali broj njih se vraća nazad, u prethodno stanje, vođen strahom kao glavnim razlogom. Mnogi među njima ostaju "raspeti" između ovoga dvoga, oklevajući, zbilja dugo, i mada praktikuju, "u kontaktu" su, čak postaju "lideri" i "odgovorni" za druge, ne kreću se, u stvari, napred. Pošto napuštaju stanje "bez ijedne misli o sebi ili drugome, ovome ili onome", oni "razaraju svoj sopstveni zamak iznutra" i raskidaju jedinstvo itai došina" i pošto više nisu sjedinjeni "velika nada za kosen rufu" je dovedena u pitanje. Jednostavno su još uvek privrženi vlastitoj nepotpunoj i svojevoljnoj slici o sebi, osećaju sigurnost u onome što im je već poznato i, s obzirom na to da ne mogu da prepoznaju stvarnu vrednost svog novog iskustva, uplašeni su. Ovo jednostavno koči životni tok. Ovaj strah dolazi usled slabe vere, slabog znanja i slabe ljubavi, i može biti uklonjen upravo njima: 1) verom, pre svega u sebe same, to jest u vlastitu pravu prirodu, svoje sposobnosti, i u to da je moguće shvatiti i prihvatiti u potpunosti takvo jedno iskustvo bez strepnje; 2) znanjem, o takvom jednom iskustvu, gde shvatamo pravu prirodu tog i sličnih iskustava, i gde učimo i o sebi i o svetu koji doživljavamo; ovo znanje donosi potrebnu stabilnost i samopouzdanje; 3) ljubavlju, jer ljubav otapa prekomernu oštrinu i štiti od blesavih stvari, dovodi sve u jedno stanje gde su stvari u pravim proporcijama, skladno postavljene, kao što i jesu, i nisu poremećene kao što se to dešava u stanju straha, kada doživljavamo varke i obmane. I postajemo histerični. (Ako bi neko prigovorio da se ljubav takođe zasniva na iluzijama, reći ću samo da ovde ne govorim o takvoj nekoj ljubavi. Uz osmeh, naravno.) Strah vodi u destrukciju. Izbacite ga i zamenite ljubavlju. Jedino kada, kao pojedinci, stvarno "prevaziđemo sve razlike među sobom", ili doslovno: kada smo "bez ijedne misli o sebi ili drugom, ovom ili onom", samo i jedino tada možemo iskusiti vrhunsku životnu moć i pravu, ličnu, slobodu. Što se tiče dajmokua, postoji ogromna razlika kada recitujemo "{sjedinjeni} jednim umom (itai došin)" i bez ovoga. (Nadam se da ovo razjašnjava razna iskustva u vezi sa količinom i načinom recitovanja, kao i sa dužinom "dajmoku staža".) To je bilo moje iskustvo o kome nikada ranije nisam pričao. Pretpostavljam da bi moglo biti od neke koristi i drugima.
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